On Friday night, I joined my husband and friend to a small get together of people that my hubby and friend grew up with. It’s always weird going to these get togethers. Not necessarily a bad weird, but still weird.

The community here is small. The school (singular) has about 300 kids from pre K to 12th grade, so everyone knew everyone more or less…especially if you had siblings in other grades. Therefore, almost everyone in town and the surrounding towns in a certain age group knows each other. Maybe not superwell, but they know each other.

And then there’s me. An outsider. I get frustrated because everyone knows who I am, but damned if I can remember any of them. 

At this particular party, I’ve met everyone at least once but I still felt as though everyone was a stranger. Aside from one other guy there, I hadn'[t spend much time with any of them. One has been in China nearly the entire time I’ve lived up here, his brother was in China, then California. The other people aren’t very close to my husband so I’ve only met them once or twice before. Still, nice people.

It’s weird though. I never really stayed close with anyone back home. I am still facebook friends with the few friends I’ve known since Elementary school but we barely even chat on Facebook and neither of them live in the town we grew in. The high school I went to was huge. While my husband went to the same school from K-12, and there’s about 300 pupils in the entire school (and this includes people who bus in from surrouding towns without a school of their own). I graduated in a class of 700. By the time I graduated, I had attending six schools. Sure, I might know what’s up with a few classmates by Facebook and well, the Police Blotter…it’s a lot harder to keep track of anyone.

Maybe eventually I’ll shed my outsider skin and become a native. Doubt it’ll happen for a long time, but still.


19 thoughts on “Outsider

  1. i get it. i grew up in small town wisconsin but moved 1100 miles away when i was 20 – leaving my family and almost everyone i knew behind. that doesn’t get replaced easily – maybe never.

  2. You both grew up in different worlds, but you can’t change that now. I guess it’s something you’ll just have to adapt to, which probably won’t be easy. Maybe you could “study up” on some of your husband’s closer friends so you will at least feel you know a few of them.

  3. I know how you feel – I went to a huge high school and only keep in touch with a handful of people. And I’m bad with names. It’s okay though. Getting to know people takes time and you’ll soon feel more comfortable with them

  4. wishing you luck on eventually completely blending in…I remember joining the hubby in a reunion one time, I did not even know what set of classmates of his they were when I arrived because he invited me on a very short notice so there I was just listening to them laugh and giggle while poking on my food…I love your site background photo…it is so calming…thank you for always heading to my Letters in November and leaving sweet thoughts…what I love most about technology is getting to meet like minded individuals and sharing new friendship across the miles….have a great day! 🙂

  5. I know just what you’re sayin’!!! Been there, done that to quote an oldie but goodie. Sometimes the feeling never goes away. Yet, other times…in different circumstances it’s not all that frustrating and as you put it ‘odd’. Still…

  6. It takes me a LONG time to get to know people. I’m terrible at remembering names and faces. Seems it gets harder to bond with people these days; everyone is so busy with their own families and circle of friends and don’t really want any newcomers. I moved back to my hometown after a 28 year absence and I’m still trying to make connections. It’s slow going. Hope it gets better for both of us. 🙂

  7. I grew up with a lot of friends and still keep in touch with several of them since I moved away but nothing is the same anymore and I miss those days. Glad that we can now have blog friends!

  8. This sounds l lot like my hubby and me. I’m from a large city and he’s from a small town. We met at college. For the longest time, I felt like an outsider and many times I was kidded for being a *city girl*! Lots of all-in-fun pranks at my expense! 🙂 Although we don’t live in his hometown, we do live in a smaller town than where I grew up. But now, I’m a seasoned small-town girl and actually prefer a lot of those nuances to large city life. And can hang with the best of them. Curious to know if any of the folks in your town read your blog?!

  9. Totally see where you’re coming from. We’ve lived here two years…the Pres has met a few guys and although I’ve met tons of people, I am not overly close to any. I chat while at the gym, laugh, exchange recipes and then I want my life and do and go where I want..I kayak alone & love it. I walk with my dogs…alone & love it. I hike…alone and love it. Get togethers are great but I enjoy myself when they’re done….:)JP

  10. I don’t know how you found my blog but your knowing I gotta love anyone from Jersey…..Don’t feel like an outsider where you are (love the title of your blog)…..I live in the South and I make sure everyone knows I’m from Jersey….I wear it like a badge of honor…and they may say I’m crazy but they don’t mess with our Jersey attitude….plus we’re Italians so of course everyone thinks we’re “mafia”……glad you stopped by and hope you become a follower…..I’ll be back !

  11. It’s a state of mind. Yes, we won’t know the inside stories, but you will find your “native-ness” if you want to channel it. Having moved around several times in my adult life, I find most people welcoming. Soon you will have memories and connections with these people, and it will get much easier.

  12. I have lived in this town, my entire life!! There were almost 1000 kids in my high school graduating class, we were on split secessions!!

    I get what your saying, I really enjoy being here at the jersey shore where I grew up!!

  13. Yep I know how you feel. My husband is still really good friends with all of his high school friends- and he graduated in a class of 100. I always say I am stuck with the wives club- because if you like them or now- you are always stuck with the wives.

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