A Dream, Deferred

I was a late reader. Either my early teachers weren’t very good…or I loved being read to just a bit too much…whatever it was, it wasn’t until the summer I turned 8…and heading into the second grade, for the second time…that reading clicked for me. That summer I went from the reading level of a kindergarten student…to a middle school level. Even more, I discovered that I enjoyed reading. No. Scratch that. I loved reading. I needed to read. I moved on from my Dr. Seuss to The Berenstein Bears to The Babysitters Club and never looked back.

Naturally, I figured that it only made sense that the next step would become a writer. Thankfully,  I enjoyed the process of writing. Maybe not quite as much as I did when I was reading…but I enjoyed it and over time,  I developed a passion for writing.

Much like the escape I found in novels, I discovered I found the same relief and escape in my  writing. As a teen, through college, and throughout my adult years I wrote. I kept paper journals, online journals, and  blogs. And I found that I got complete satisfaction from those outlets.

I can’t  count how many novels I started and then abandoned. I just couldn’t seem to find that excitement I found when I was blogging. For years, I sort of berated myself for this fact. I blamed myself for not being able to commit…even though that’s kind of ridiculous. I commit to my jobs, sometimes a bit too much. I committed to my relationship with hubby despite a multitude of reasons I could have grasped. I’ve committed to keeping  journals and blogs for years now.  So no, I just don’t think it’s a commit thing.

Instead, I’m realizing that I am a reader. That is where my love is.

I’m exploring  ways to expand my passion for reading. I have a few ideas (no, no real desire to become an English teacher), but for now I feel a little better admitting to myself that I’m probably NOT going to produce a novel. Instead, I’ll probably continue typing away in my little spot on the internet. And feel satisfied  with that.

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6 thoughts on “A Dream, Deferred

  1. i always admire the joy other peeps have for reading as i am not a reader. i have memory/brain lessions that prevent me from remembering what i read. blogging is wonderful for me as i am ok with short stories!!

  2. I know what you mean about starting and abandoning novels! I’ve started so many and then just couldn’t finish. I just lost interest, or couldn’t figure out how to get from Point A to Point B, or whatever. I love blogging because you can write whatever you feel like, every day, and people write back. Maybe you could think about writing a collection of short stories, instead of a novel!

  3. I was a very early reader. Basically because my mom hated reading to me as she hated reading to anybody! And ever since I have read and read. But like you, I feel there is a book in me somewhere. Lately however, I have come to realise though, that I am publishing this book every day. While writing my blog! Perhaps some day though, because the dream is not dead.

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