Drowning, then Breathing

The last few weeks I was struggling. I had fallen into the grips of depression, and I could not fight my way out of it. 

I am no stranger to depression. Since my teen years I have faced this particular demon, and while with each passing episode, it gets better, I have better tools, support…it still rocks me to the core and leaves me fragile.

Sometimes I know the culprit that let the demon into my life. Sometimes I don’t. This time around, there were many culprits. Trying to be a rock for my best friend. Supporting my parents during a lengthy illness. Trying to be a good wife. Dealing with two puppies at the same time, while still trying to be a good cat Mommy. Then I got sick. And sick again. 

It was a lot. Some I shared on here, more I shared with Hubby…but a lot I internalized. And yeah, you can guess how that worked out.

So for the past few weeks I felt pretty miserable but did my best to hide it. 

But thankfully things are getting better. My friend and parents are better than they were. Hubby and I are communicating a lot better than we had been. My puppies are growing and becoming more manageable (I will no doubt get more dogs in my lifetime, but never more puppies). 

Yesterday I even indulged in some retail therapy. We took a trip up to Binghamton so I could go to the Goodwill where I spent (no lie) 3 hours shopping. I walked out with something like 6 new shirts, 3 new pair of jeans and 4 books. Hubby picked up a few things for himself as well and together we spent a whopping $55. 

This morning I even felt motivated enough to cook up a huge batch of french toast for us (we ate it for brunch, then again for dinner!) and then I caught up with sorting through a huge pile of laundry that somehow got washed, but never got put away. I was wondering why it seemed as though I was going through my laundry way too quickly.

I have a few busy weekends coming up. Hopefully I’ll have enough downtime so I don’t get overwhelmed.

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11 thoughts on “Drowning, then Breathing

  1. I’m glad you’re on your way up and out. Things can be overwhelming, particularly all the different roles we have to juggle in life. Feel free to reach out if you ever need a friend 🙂

  2. Many people don’t realize how debilating depression can be, that it is a disease, that it is difficult to manage and live with!! I am glad you are felling better and recognize the triggers. I hope you had a peaceful weekend!!

  3. Depression isn’t fun…and keeping your feelings internally is NOT something that helps…talking does. I’m glad to read you’re on your way to recovering this time. [Shopping helps!!!]
    Just think, finding all this list of goodies you found at any retail store would be 3 times as much. You did good.

  4. I’m happy to say I’ve never been depressed, but I’ve know people that struggle with depression. I’m glad you’re feeling better. I knew you were sick and I figured that’s why you quit blogging. I understand now.

    Have a fabulous day and keep your chin up and put a smile on your face. 🙂

  5. Sorry you are prone to this. I understand because I am this way, too. Retail therapy used to work for me, but now nature photography has taken its place. Glad you are feeling better now!

  6. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Be sure to take the time to decompress on those days. Hugs. Sometimes for me it’s just laying in bed under a bunch of heavy blankets and doing just nothing but closing my eyes and being in my happy place.

  7. Pingback: Illegal Memories (StoryADay post) | Stories in 5 Minutes

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