The last few weeks I was struggling. I had fallen into the grips of depression, and I could not fight my way out of it.
I am no stranger to depression. Since my teen years I have faced this particular demon, and while with each passing episode, it gets better, I have better tools, support…it still rocks me to the core and leaves me fragile.
Sometimes I know the culprit that let the demon into my life. Sometimes I don’t. This time around, there were many culprits. Trying to be a rock for my best friend. Supporting my parents during a lengthy illness. Trying to be a good wife. Dealing with two puppies at the same time, while still trying to be a good cat Mommy. Then I got sick. And sick again.
It was a lot. Some I shared on here, more I shared with Hubby…but a lot I internalized. And yeah, you can guess how that worked out.
So for the past few weeks I felt pretty miserable but did my best to hide it.
But thankfully things are getting better. My friend and parents are better than they were. Hubby and I are communicating a lot better than we had been. My puppies are growing and becoming more manageable (I will no doubt get more dogs in my lifetime, but never more puppies).
Yesterday I even indulged in some retail therapy. We took a trip up to Binghamton so I could go to the Goodwill where I spent (no lie) 3 hours shopping. I walked out with something like 6 new shirts, 3 new pair of jeans and 4 books. Hubby picked up a few things for himself as well and together we spent a whopping $55.
This morning I even felt motivated enough to cook up a huge batch of french toast for us (we ate it for brunch, then again for dinner!) and then I caught up with sorting through a huge pile of laundry that somehow got washed, but never got put away. I was wondering why it seemed as though I was going through my laundry way too quickly.
I have a few busy weekends coming up. Hopefully I’ll have enough downtime so I don’t get overwhelmed.