Not intentional

I stopped blogging in August. It wasn’t something I planned…I just stopped updating and honestly, I did not miss it. I missed writing a teeny bit, but then I started a different, semi secret blog where I posted some more creative writing. And then that stopped. And I stopped reading blogs. And more or less fell off of cyber world except for using my phone. I even deleted my WordPress app on my phone.

I don’t think I’m going to return to WordPress. If I do feel the need to write, I think that Blogger will be the place I will go. I’m at http://nearlynotthere.blogspot.com/.

I’m really not sure how often I’ll be posting, or what I’ll be posting. I just want to have that space open whenever I feel the need to be creative.

If you’d like to keep in touch with me, please drop me an email at silverneurotic@gmail.com or friend me on Facebook or Twitter.

Blurred Lines

The Delaware County Fair was a few weeks ago, and in the aftermath, a statutory rape accusation that allegedly took place between a 20 year old fair worker and a 14 year old attendee.

In the aftermath of the story breaking in one of the local papers, I happened to remark that it was creepy to think that this happened at the fair…a place that up until then, I felt fairly confident was employed by non predators.

After I made the comment, I was “reminded” that the alleged rape was “statutory”, therefore implied that it wasn’t really a rape because the 14 year old child said yes. Allegedly.

Now I don’t know about you, but when I was 14 I was pretty naive and my self esteem at that point was all but non existent. I’d love to say for sure that I would not be tempted by an older guy paying attention to me, but I very well may have fallen into the same situation. A teenage girl’s psyche is a very delicate thing and the word yes is sometimes, often, the easy word to say when put into a situation that has somehow gotten out of control.

A person’s brain is not developed at 14. It is prone to make rash decisions, that carry dangerous and life altering consequences. At 14, it is difficult to detect those risks in the moment. This is why there are laws against smoking or voting before age 18, why its illegal to drink in the US before 21 (and 18-19 in many other places). This is why there is such thing as an age of consent, here in the US…it’s to try to allow time for brains develop before having to face adult decisions such as deciding whether or not to have sex.

The 14 year old was not mature enough to say yes. The 20 year old, however, was mature enough to know better. Statutory or not, rape is rape.

Thoughts Flying

Hubby and I spent the weekend in New Jersey with my parents. My Dad was scheduled for (minor) surgery on Friday and as this is something like surgery number seven since 2006-I felt that I should be close for moral support.

Fortunately the minor surgery was just that, minor, and despite the surgeon’s prediction that Dad would spend the night in the hospital Dad was returned to us by lunch time the same day. Predictably sore, but in high spirits.

That evening, Mom and I went on a much needed and much overdue Mother Daughter Date. Unfortunately we did not plan it too well. Mom wanted to go see If I Stay, a movie based on a popular YA novel so the theater was teeming with loud and obnoxious teenagers (most who, based on the comments I overheard) had no idea what the movie was suppose to be about). Several times I thought about suggesting to Mom that we should just leave and ask for our money back. It was that noisy. But we stuck through it. It was an okay movie, it had some really good moments, but the (distracted) impression that I got was that it was lacking something.

Saturday Hubby and I took the puppies on an easy hike in the state park near my parents house. I think the puppies enjoyed themselves. We recently bought retractable leashes for them and they loved that little bit of freedom it allows them. They were mostly well behaved until they came across some runners. That could have been messy, sorry about that! That night I cooked dinner and my one sister came home for a visit. Both dinner and the visit were a success.

Sunday Mom took over the dogsitting so Hubby and I could have a little time to ourselves. We checked out a local brewery that opened recently. It was very barebones, operating out of a former airport hangar but the beer was good. Then from there we visited a winery where we each enjoyed a glass of wine on the patio.

Like always, I left my parents house feeling conflicted. It’s so hard saying goodbye to them, especially with Dad’s health being so precarious at times. I do not care for the area of NJ they live in, nor do I relish the thought of uprooting my life yet again to move and start all over again…but just for a little while I played around with the thought.

Writer’s Block, Motivation, and a Lack of Excuse

I haven’t blogged in almost a month.

At first I was focused on wanting to complete a 101 in 1001 project. It was something I had been interested in a few years, but when it actually came time to complete the project I realized that it probably was not going to happen. As much as I want to, it’s just not going to happen right now.
Maybe when things are a little more secure around here. Maybe. Maybe I’ll rework my list and focus on goals that aren’t dependent on money. There are plenty of goals I can come up with that don’t cost money.

But the main reason I haven’t blogged is because I have been suffering from a dual case of writers block and feeling underwhelmed. It’s not been a good combination.

I just don’t feel like I have much to contribute.

Week 1 Comes to a Close

Week 1 of my 101 in 1001 challenge has come to a close. I’ve been doing well with a few goals (exercising and photography) and I have date for my 5k, but as expected, none of my goals have been completely crossed off. It’s too early in the game for that to happen. Besides, quite a few of my goals are ongoing goals so they won’t get accomplished fully until the end of the 1001 days.

This week we took the puppies in to get fixed. Originally I was only going to get Lucy fixed, then get Linus done later on. But it was just as easy to do them both at the same time. So both puppies are recovering nicely, and Mommy doesn’t have to worry about unwanted puppies.

I had a stressful week at work, so it definitely affected my mood. I spend a good part of the week feeling very pessimistic, which is not usual for me in regards to my job. I usually love my job and very grateful for it, especially since the job I had prior to this job was complete hell. I hope this week goes better.

I got two really good walks in this week. I went on a solo walk on Thursday and on Friday Hubby and I took the pups for a nice long walk.

On Saturday we had a bit of a medical scare. Thankfully, for once, it wasn’t me…or the animals. It was Hubby. On Friday he was gathering trash and recyling to take to the transfer station (no trash pickup here) and he cut his leg on some glass that broke. He cleaned it up, but on Saturday he went to change the dressing and it was bleeding again and looked kind of nasty. Plus he couldn’t remember exactly when he had gotten his last tetanus shot so I convinced him that he should see a doctor. Of course since it was Saturday and he gets his health care from the V.A. that meant a 2+ hour drive to Albany to the V.A. Hospital. Five stitches and a tetanus shot later we headed home.

Today I didn’t feel like doing much of anything. I did some housework and I made dinner (chicken scampi).

Now I think I’ll probably have a glass of wine (or two), and have a little one on one time with my Kindle. I’ve been reading like crazy this weekend, even with everything else happening this weekend.

Day 1 and 2 of the 101 in 1001

Day 1
So yesterday (Saturday) kicked off the challenge. It was a busy day and although I did not accomplish all the daily challenge items, I feel as though it was a successful start to the project.

I spent the day on a canoe trip, where I found myself saying yes to several new experiences, tried 3/101 beers for the challenge, exercised, and tried homemade bacon. I also more or less kept track of my spending. $40 to purchase new paddles for the canoe, $5 for a hat (that unfortunately was lost at sea) and $12 for beer.

I however, did not accomplish journal writing or taking a photograph as I did not want to risk getting my phone or camera wet. This was actually a very good idea as we capsized our canoe and everything in the canoe went in the water. Fortunately no casualties (it was an intense place to go over, so we were fortunate to make it out relatively unscathed). We did however lose two beers that we were drinking at the time, and a brand new hat I had purchased that morning. Journaling did not happen as we got home late and I only had energy to take a bath and then crash into bed.

All in all, I think it was a good start to the project.

Day 2
Today was a quiet day. I spent a good deal of the day trying to recover from yesterday.

I did however manage to accomplish a few things. I took a picture, kept track of my spending, played Wii Tennis for 40 minutes and journaled this evening. I also signed up for a 5k that will take place 10/4/14, so it’s far enough in the future to train…but close enough to keep from procrastinating. I signed Sam up too, so I’ll have a training partner.

101 In 1001 Days

I had a good weekend. A really good weekend. I managed to finally relax, fully have fun and even accomplished some cleaning and set in motion a project that I have been wanting to do for years now…write and complete a 101 Things in 1001 Days.

If you haven’t heard of this project, it’s fairly straightforward and self explanatory. You come up with a list of 101 goals to accomplish in the space of 1001 days. Approximately two years and nine months. I’ve been coming up with ideas for awhile now, but this weekend, between binge watching Netflix, reading, 4th of July festivities and cleaning…I finalized my list.

I have started a Tumblr blog to track my progress on the goals, but I am going to cross post as much as possible on here so I still keep this blog active.

Here is the list that I came up with. I will officially be starting the list this coming Saturday, so to lead up to the official start date, I am writing a short summary of each goal…which I will not be posting here, but you can feel free to visit the Tumblr blog or follow me on Twitter or become friends with me on Facebook.

101 in 1001
Try 101 new recipes.
Train for a 5k
Go on a Wine Tour in Sonoma
Learn how to Knit
Find a pen pal.
Buy a house
Hold a koala bear
Find a volunteer job
Visit the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame
Try 101 Different Foods
Try 101 Different Wines
Try 101 Different Beers
Say yes more often
Get a tattoo
Go zip-lining
Upgrade drivers license and visit Canada
Perform 101 random acts of kindness
Make homemade wine
Make homemade beer
Take a yoga class
Buy a bike
Deep clean apartment and keep it maintained.
Host party for both sides of the family.
Learn How to Fish
Open a Little Free Library
Have a professional portrait taken of Sam and I.
Take another writing class.
Go Whale Watching
Learn to drive stickshift
Learn to Cross Country ski
Research and buy the car I want
Host an overnight guest
Enter a writing contest
Take at least one photograph a day.
Donate blood
Start a book club
Audition for the Moth
Go on a Balloon Ride
Walk 3x weekly (when weather cooperates)
Try one new restaurant a month
Dye my hair
Go Horseback Riding
Visit Travis in Boston
Visit David in Georgia
Eat vegetarian for 30 days
Go Kayaking
Go back to school
Attend a book event
Use LinkedIn to network
Reach and maintain my goal weight
Find a new job.
Take a class in something different.
Visit the 9/11 Memorial.
Give up coffee for three months
Laser eye surgery
Learn how to properly apply makeup
Attend a food and wine festival
Host a dinner party
Learn to sew
Learn to eat according to portion sizes
Donate blood
Utilize my craft box
Learn to shoot a gun
Learn to play chess
Create a budget
Start a blog entirely dedicated to The Catskills
Go see a standup comedian
Date night once a month
Take Mom on a vacation of her choice
Read 20 books recommended by other people
Bake something new once a month
Take a spontaneous weekend trip without planning
Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge
Get a pedicure
Shop at a Local Farmers Market
Find a church
Keep track of my spending for duration of project
Buy at least one piece of furniture
Organize office so I can use it to work.
Blog for Catskill Cellars
Stay at Mohonk House
Do at least one physical activity daily that I’m not working
Complete a jigsaw puzzle
Answer the 50 Questions that Will Free Your Mind
Read 1 non fiction books a month
See Book of Mormon
Save all change for one year. Put it in savings.
Get eyes examined and buy new glasses
Study for, sign up and take the GRE
Meet an online friend
Adopt another cat.
Work on building a relationship with Danielle
Make a book of all my favorite photgraphs
Completely stay offline one day a month
Read the entire series of Harry Potter and LOTR with Sam
Take puppies to a dog obedience class
Keep a daily journal, write in it daily…even if it’s only a single sentence
Learn how to become an editor.
See U2 in concert
Send a care package to a soldier
Write a new 101 for 1001 List

Home

Hubby and I arrived home from vacation this morning…5am to be exact. We were fortunate to be able to tack on another day to our vacation as my boss texted me on Friday to let me know that he changed my schedule around and I didn’t have to come in until Tuesday (I’m working Thursday instead)…so we used the time to spend an extra day with my aunt and uncle…which was good.

I meant to blog during the trip, started to actually, but most nights I was just too tired. I’m kind of upset about that now as I kind of had an unfortunate accident with my phone (where most of my pictures from the trip are)…so I don’t know if I’ll be able to save them or what.

Michigan was low key for the most part. My friend worked a lot when we were there, but we still got to spend time with her. It was hard though, seeing her in the position she is in. It took a lot out of hubby and I emotionally to deal with her. I hope we helped her but it was hard to tell.

We did manage a trip to Mackinac Island on my birthday and I really enjoyed it. I want to go again, after doing some research first. We ended up just jumping on the ferry and going over without a plan…which was okay, but if we had an idea of what to expect first…it probably would have been a better trip. We ended up spending most of the time at the fort, then at dinner and went back. Then we crossed the bridge to the UP and visited Castle Rock which we both enjoyed.

We left Michigan on Thursday and spent the next two days in Indiana with my Aunt and Uncle. That was definitely the highlight of the trip. On Friday we went on a tour of Amish country and tried so much yummy food. My Aunt stocked me up with tons of stuff to bring home, muffin and gravy mixes, cheese and cold cuts. And we had ice cream while we shopped and it was one of the best ice creams I’ve ever had. That night we went out to dinner at a Mexican food chain and then my cousin took us to a bonfire that his friends were having. Before the bonfire we did a beer run at a store that specializes in craft beer. That was fantastic. We picked up a mixed six pack for ourselves and then one for Hubby’s friend (who is a professional brewer). The bonfire was fun. Hubby was adopted into the fold but I wasn’t feeling overly sociable.

The next day my aunt and uncle took us back to Michigan (they live close to the border) as we had wanted to pick up some Michigan wine for Hubby’s boss. We ended up at the Round Barn, which is a winery, brewery and distillery in one location. We did not try any of their spirits, but the wine was decent (the DiVine Black Walnut is rather legendary). It was way too crowded however, and the first girl that helped us was overworked and didn’t do much else aside from pour our selections without telling us anything about them. Towards the end someone else stepped in, who was much more personable but by that time we were on our last samples. I’m happy to say that the two we ended up bring home (the aformentioned black walnut and the Redel Doux were served by the new girl). We then went over to the brewery and was disappointed that they were not doing tastings. We did try two of their offerings and I fell in love with their porter. Overall the place was a win and I’d love to go back.

 

We headed back to NY on Sunday, but didn’t get home until 5am Monday morning…now it’s back to work for 3 days, then another busy weekend (fourth in a row!). After that, hopefully life will go back to normal.

Camping: Day One

We left home yesterday at noon. It was a little later than intended, but still good for us. We actually would have left at 11 but Hemingway was being his typical asshole cat self, and refused to come inside…

The original idea was to drive halfway then stop to sleep. Instead we ended up driving strait through, only stopping for a few hours at a rest stop. The good thing was the puppies were really well behaved. We only had to deal with one accident, right at the beginning of the trip.

Because of this, we arrived at the campground first thing this morning and my best friend came around and we got to spend a few hours together. It was really good to see her and talk to her in person instead of communicating in calls and texts like we usually have to do.

After my friend left, we mostly just relaxed at the campsite as both of us were exhausted. The pups are enjoying themselves so far and still well behaved.

Tomorrow I’ll get to see my friend for a longer period of time, but the rest of our time here she will be working the evening shift…which came up last minute. So that’s a major bummer but it is what it is.

On the Road (Almost)

My work week is finally over. It wasn’t the worst week ever, but it definitely will be a contender with weeks I do not want to experience again. I don’t like blogging about work as blogging about work can get complicated…but basically we got hit with a storm and about 4:30am Wednesday morning I awoke to a power outage. 

We have a generator at work so I grabbed the directions, headed outside and attempted to get it running. I still had an hour before I had to be up and working, so I figured I’d get the power running again, then get a least 45 minutes of sleep before getting back up. That did not happen. First, I couldn’t get the generator moved out from the little shed we keep it in (both wheels were flat). I finally did get it moved (and I am SERIOUSLY feeling it today…my boss actually said he was surprised that I moved it at all)…then spend another 15 minutes fighting to get it plugged in. Finally got it plugged in and got it running…just to go inside and find out that it was doing jack shit and I had to call my boss. Luckily the electricity came back on before too long so it wasn’t a major issue…and I later discovered that the directions we had…were only about half the directions. There was a whole ‘nother process to follow AFTER the generator was running. But we won’t get into that…

So needless to say…I spend Wednesday craving a nap and today just feeling sore, grumpy and unmotivated to do just about anything, including any packing.

I did get most of it done though. We’re probably going to get a later start tomorrow as we still need to load up the car, I have to stop at the bank, and we will probably stop at Family Dollar for a few things we forgot to pick up at the grocery store…then hit the road. Fortunately we already planned to break the trip into two days so we’re not rushed…then at the end of the week we’re going to visit my Aunt and Uncle in Indiana Thursday into Friday and come home Saturday. When I was in college I went out to visit them a few times, but I haven’t seen them since my wedding so I’m looking forward to it. 

Right now though, I think I need some sleep.